Egg Sharing

Having done a bit of reading, I've gone off the idea of getting IVF by taking part in an egg sharing programme. This means that it is a lot cheaper, but there are downsides that I hadn't considered.

Firstly, suppose I produce 10 eggs. Do I give half away leaving 5 for myself? Perhaps I only get one or two. Obviously the quality of eggs vary. Who gets the best quality eggs? The paying recipient or the person who can't afford to pay? I'd hate to think it's someone's job to make that decision, but assisted fertility units are businesses and of course their priority will be person who is paying.

Secondly, what if the cycle doesn't work? I wouldn't have any eggs on standby to give it another go. I'd have to find a way to pay again and go through the whole IVF process again. An arduous few weeks of daily injections and hormone fluctuations, then egg collection. At least if I pay for a full cycle, produce 10 eggs, use 2 and freeze the rest, I've got some in reserve in case it doesn't work, or even if it does and I want a subsequent child.

Thirdly, the thing I really hadn't considered, is that the government have now made it possible for children produced from donated sperm and eggs to trace their biological parents when they turn 18. So imagine 18 years down the line, I've had IVF, it failed and my husband and I have come to accept our life without children. Then someone knocks on my door and tells me I'm their mother. It would be heartbreaking to know that my eggs helped someone else to have a much desired child, but they couldn't help me.

I had thought about how wonderful it would be to donate my eggs to a couple who really needs it and I would still dearly love to do that. I'd considered the fact that there might be a child out there that was partly mine biologically and that didn't really worry me too much. However, I hadn't considered the possibility of the eggs I use not resulting in a pregnancy, but the ones I gave away creating a child.

I think I'd still consider donating any spare eggs once I felt my family was complete because I would dearly love to give some hope to a couple in the same situation as us. Until I've got my happy ending though, I'm not altruistic enough to give someone else the chance of one with my flesh and blood.